


This Was The Spark And It Was The Flame

by mermaidharryau



Category: Code Geass
Genre: F/M, OFC - Freeform, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:38:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5955697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermaidharryau/pseuds/mermaidharryau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He studied her as he spoke, although sometimes his mind was so entranced by her words he found himself gazing outside the window and imagining the world as she spoke of it. The quietly tapping rain complimented the beating of both hearts beneath it, gazing out at the dark night in comfortable silence, until Jade broke it.</p>
<p>“Do you ever feel trapped, Suzaku?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooo!! So I first wrote this as a going away present for one of my best friends before she left to study in Korea, and decided to post it here in case anyone else might like a read! But essentially that's why there's an OFC and why it's the main focus, as well as allusions to a side OFC in some chapters.
> 
> But anyways this was my first piece of writing in a while, and I hope everyone who happens to read likes it! Feedback and comments, as always, are welcome and appreciated. Thanks! x

See, the only thing Suzaku hated about Spirit Week was all of this extra pressure put on the Student Council to ensure that every minute detail was attended to. He never minded working under pressure, necessarily, but he had enough on his plate. Something as nonsensical as extracurriculars was the last thing he wished to have occupying his mind’s tracks. Zero’s power was ascending every day, who knows what he’s planning even at this exact moment, any second he could strike with something new, and Suzaku had to be ready.  
  
“SUZAKU!” A sudden high-pitched squeal of his name interrupted his thoughts. “Hey, are the lights on at all in there?” Milly giggled while tapping his head not so gently. “I need your help organizing these, would you mind taking them home and sorting them for me?”  
  
It took him a moment to come back down to Earth. “Oh sorry guys, my head’s somewhere else today. And actually no, I have too much to do later. I can’t promise it’ll get done in my care so better give the responsibility to someone else,” he chuckled.  
  
“What’s got you so busy later?” Lelouch questioned. His best friend ever since he was a child, the only person he could truly trust in this world. Suzaku always felt terrible every time he was forced to tell half-truths to his friends but to Lelouch, he felt a whole new level of guilty.  
  
“Work stuff, the usual.” And there it was again.  
  
“Work stuff? You make it sound like you’re frequently sneaking off with a girl, being so purposely ambiguous all the time.”  
  
Suzaku blushed, and more than just embarrassing, that was his tell. As his certified best friend, who knew everything about him, Lelouch knew whatever would come out of Suzaku’s mouth next was probably less than truthful.  
  
“I could say the same thing about you, you know. Who’s that brunette I saw sneaking out of your house last week, hm?” Oh. Did not expect that.  
  
Lelouch hardly possesses tear ducts, let alone the possibility of rosy cheeks. Yet still, he blushes and quickly retorts, “Never mind that, we’re talking about you.”  
  
Everyone giggles, even Suzaku. “Honestly, I just have too much work to do. Believe me, I’d much rather spend time with all of you but I just have to make sure I’m fighting fit.”  
  
That seemed to sell everyone, and they all once again reverted back to mocking Lelouch’s mysterious possible love life. Normally, Suzaku would join in the light-hearted teasing but honestly in that moment, he was simply grateful to have the attention diverted from him.

  


~

  


“God dammit, Suzaku, HIT ME!” Gino practically shrieked from within his Knightmare. His efforts are beginning to seem like a fruitless task, trying to toughen up Suzaku before he returns to the battleground. Not that Suzaku doesn’t have more than enough experience being a Knight, and it’s not that he really needs to practice all that much, but with Zero on the move and the Black Knights potentially launching surprise attacks any day, he can’t be too prepared. Most of his evenings outside of school have been spent here: practicing, perfecting, training relentlessly and tirelessly within the confinements of his Knightmare, always striving to be the best in every category but especially regarding defense.  
  
Suzaku’s Knightmare flung backwards at the harsh shove of Gino’s, stumbling a few hundred feet before finally seeking plant. He sighed and spoke into his headpiece: “I’m just not feeling aggressive enough today, Gino. I’m not as destructive without the adrenalin of a real life or death fight... plus I’m still just afraid to hurt you.” he laughed in an extraneously teasing fashion and Gino smirked.  
  
“Oh yeah, pretty boy? Why don’t you step out of there and I’ll give you the ass-whooping you need on my own two feet?” he laughed even harder, and soon they were both in a fit of ironically innocent giggles considering they were fighting in monstrous battle creations only moments ago.  
  
It was rare to find someone who made it so effortless to feel this comfortable around them. One of Suzaku’s favorite pastimes had become training with Gino, and Gino had equally enjoyed mocking Suzaku into a fit of controlled rage, which often times resulted in a first class Knightmare cage fight.  
  
Suzaku and Gino discarded their headsets onto their dashboards and exited their beasts of robots, sliding down the pole mechanism and onto the smooth grass below. Suzaku immediately hustled over to the water station, which he finally realized how grateful he should be for these past few weeks, due to the extensive training he’s put himself under. He grabbed a full bottle and doused himself in it, undoing the top few buttons of his uniform in order to allow the cool air onto his bare chest.  
  
If he wanted to be the best, he’d have to learn to release. Maybe he shouldn’t be such a rule-follower all the time. Maybe there are in fact instances that call for a little improvisation, and improvisation usually required a certain disregard for structure. If he wanted to be a top notch militant, he’d have to learn to fight even when there’s nothing to lose.

  


~

  


An elegantly designed assortment of cakes, biscuits and tea hardly alludes to the direct mirror opposite it poses to the real world, full of violence, hatred, and everything unpretty. Still, royalty meant sanctuary, being sheltered and coddled until the one time came when they actually had to intervene, only to return back to their ignorantly blissful lives. But the princesses were no fools, they knew the world was imperfect and they knew about Zero’s intentions to see them all dethroned or worse, dead. They lived in harmony nonetheless, and tried their hardest to act as normal sisters.  
  
“CORNELIA! That’s mine!” Euphemia shrieked happily, despite her surprisingly quick rising from the ground to chase Cornelia, a fresh grasp of Euphie’s crown in her hand. The two giggled and tripped, both a rare sight regarding Cornelia, as Jade laughed behind her hand and she sat and watched. She moved her palm outwards to shield her eyes from the sun as she squinted and looked up, it really was a beautiful day. Strange how nature never seems to know when the world is at war.  
  
“You girls are crazy!” Jade yelled with as much warmth to her voice as there was outside. She was easily the quietest of the princesses, but in a different kind of quiet. Euphemia always had this kind of quiet elegance. Cornelia, quiet strength. Jade was just… quiet.  
  
“Oh Jade.. you should’ve.. you should really come play with us once in awhile..” Euphie ambled up the hill, somehow even still with grace, completely tuckered after running and tumbling over the garden. Her prize was the silver glittering crown that sat crooked atop her head.  
  
Cornelia added a smug smile as she followed behind her. “Exactly. Hike up your pretty little skirt and learn how to just run for once, be free.” Cornelia added, not short of breath whatsoever.  
  
Cornelia was the tough love. Euphie simply radiated it. Still, Jade loved them both in their own different, unique ways.  
  
“It has nothing to do with my skirt, silly. I’m just tired.” she replied. She wasn’t necessarily being dishonest, however it wasn’t so much a sleepless kind of tired as it was sadness causing one to be tired.  
  
Euphie bit her lip and looked down, suddenly the shimmering dew on the blades of grass at her bare feet became very interesting. Cornelia simply turned away, occupying her focus on the flowers in the distance.  
  
“Did you have another dream last night?” Euphie asked calmly, not a trace of concern in her voice but rather simple curiosity.  
  
Jade took a moment to answer, no doubt turning over possible responses in her mind. She always chose honesty in the good name of her title and responsibility, but regarding her private life she preferred it to remain exactly that. However, her sisters were no stranger to her common tactics in an attempt to hide even the most basic human emotions, and they knew her tells. It was either be honest or be reprimanded immediately following being dishonest with no room to deny. “They stopped, but now they’re back.”  
  
That was when Cornelia’s head finally snapped back. Comfort was never her area of expertise, as she’s hardly experienced her own range of difficult emotions, but she could try. “Jade… Dear, he’s never coming back.” Nice.  
  
She knew that. Euphie knew that, the cat knew that, the gardener who only worked Tuesday evenings knew that. It wasn’t that Jade hoped, because she didn’t. It was that part of her mind knew that in part of his somewhere he really did love her, and she wondered if he’d ever realize that. If he did, then he’d come back. She knew him, she knew that much about him.  
  
“Cornelia.” Euphie warned, coming closer to Jade and sitting down. She turned her attention to her youngest sister, “Jade, honey…” she took her hand, “You deserve better. Someone who says they love you and then disappear in the shadows of the night is neither worth your time or ours.” Though she loved both of her sisters equally, Euphie was easily the one Jade would prefer to comfort her in a sensitive time.  
  
“I’m fine!” Jade said a little too quickly but gently, suddenly rising from the table and dropping Euphie’s grasp. She paused, realizing how she may sound rude. “I’m fine.” she amended. Really, he was just a person. My duty is more important, as are both of you. I recognize all of that.”  
  
Cornelia smiled her all too familiar smirk, one to signal when she was amused and satisfied with someone’s response but also one step ahead with her train of thought. Snarky and seductive. “You’re structured, Jade, and I commend that but perhaps sometimes too structured.”  
  
She really couldn’t argue. That was probably even most of what drove Gracien away.  
  
“We just worry about you, is what we mean.” Euphie added tenderly. “Ever since he hurt you, you haven’t been the same. You unyieldingly follow orders and your dreams have taken sleep away.”  
  
It was so much more than that, but Jade wouldn’t argue. However Euphemia did have one point: Her devotion to her duty of this magnitude began only once she had found herself sleeping alone.  
  
It’s sensational, how even after someone swiftly exits out of one’s life, a scar of empty promises and tormented dreams remains for so much longer in their place. If only the haunting memories that intruded her dreams would linger as long as he had.

  


~

  


That night, as Jade rested comfortably in her bed, her head swam with thoughts of the future, what it may hold for her country and the people of Britannia. Recent developments in the coming rebellion were enough to keep her mind entranced, but she still found herself floating away, lost in her own personal thoughts.  
A knock at the door made her flinch slightly. “Come in.”  
  
The growing crack in darkness allowed light to flood in as Euphemia stepped into the radiance. “Can’t sleep?” her tender voice echoed gently in the confines of Jade’s bedroom.  
  
Jade laughed, a quiet, content yet troubled sound. “Nope. There’s too much going through my mind.”  
  
“What else is new?” she replied softly, laughing almost undetectably. She crossed the bedroom and sat on the end of Jade’s bed, beginning to stroke her dark hair with her typical grace and care.  
  
“Jade… I know things are hard. Life is hard for many people these days. And I know that as princesses, sometimes we may feel obligated to put on a happy face and put ourselves aside for the sake of our people…” Oh great, another one of these lectures. “...But I’d rather you not do that this time.”  
Oh. “I want you to know that it’s okay to feel.” she continued. “Feelings are good, they help us grow and figure out where we want to go from here.” She smiled and tapped her hand on Jade’s cheek lightly. “Someone is going to think you’re the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen and they wouldn’t leave your side if someone tried to pry them away. Remember that.”  
  
Jade nodded, closing her eyes. “How will I know when I find that person, Euphie?”  
  
“They will always want to make it known. They won’t want you going a moment without the soft reminder that they care about you. Love can come from many unexpected places. It’s important to just keep an open mind and try your best to keep an open heart.”  
  
She smiled up at her sister, and how she always knew what to say. Euphie smiled back, leaned down to kiss the crown of Jade’s head, and promptly stood.  
  
“Good night, dear. I hope you feel better in the morning,” she almost whispered as she crossed back over to the door, looked back lovingly at Jade, and closed the door behind her.  
  
Jade hoped so too. More than anything, she hoped she was right.

  


~

  


Suzaku’s bag hit the floor with a thud so loud it made Arthur jump, and his body soon joined a place beside it. His eyes were closed before his chest even connected with the hardwood floors of his dorm. Sleep wasn’t just calling his name, it was shouting and banging pots in his ear. Too lazy to even attempt standing, he let himself lie there for a moment with shut eyes.  
  
The arduous task of training so hard was all he had to decompress, there was nothing else in this world that made him feel more alive and in control.  
  
Such a feeling brought back flashes of a young Suzaku, scared shitless of what the future held for him and feeling completely powerless to stop it. This sensation of unbridled dread brought Suzaku to possess a terrifying enthusiasm for death, relentlessly placing himself on the precipice of fate and nearly every time he stepped inside of his Knightmare, he honestly didn’t know if he would come back out. That was how he liked it. Still, his recklessness, which could be mistaken for bravery, was constantly challenged by a dormant, lurking fear of death. He was driven by this idea, this philosophy that had been instilled in him since he began training as a young boy that the key to being brave is overcoming challenges. Challenging obstacles themselves, and in doing so Suzaku had become a walking contradiction: terrified of death and terrified of living.  
  
The unexpected sensation of a rough tongue on his ear startled Suzaku, his eyes and nose scrunching up in an endearing, cute manner that would’ve made any girl giggle had she been there to bear witness.  
  
After training today, he wouldn’t be surprised if he woke up without legs tomorrow. He didn’t even want to get up to strip out of his white jumpsuit, but still...  
  
He reached out cautiously to pet the cat, relaxing when Arthur actually began to purr. “See, this is fine. I don’t mind when you’re licking me. It’s the biting that makes me really dislike you sometimes.”  
  
He pulled himself off the ground, exerting any amount of his strength that he had left and lumbered into his bedroom area, grabbing whatever t-shirt was on the floor and wasn’t beginning to look like a sweater due to cat hair.  
  
He turned the faucet to the hottest setting he could handle, meanwhile undoing the buttons of his white uniform as he waited for the water to heat up. He stared at the vacant green eyes in the mirror’s reflection where his should be.  
  
He sighed. “You.” A pause. “Get it together.”  
  
He turned away from the mirror to acknowledge the gentle “Mrow” coming from the bedroom. He peered around the doorway to see Arthur had discovered a home on his bed, nonetheless directly on his favorite pillow. Smiling softly, he really didn’t mind that little guy sometimes, he quietly returned to the sink. He finished slipping off his form-fitting battle suit, gracefully allowing the fabric to waterfall off his toned shoulders and crumple onto the tile floor. His muscles flexed as he slipped his shirt over his head, and he leaned over to splash water on his face before turning off the tap.  
  
The last 1% he had left in him was used in finally making his way to the bed, welcoming him like an old friend as he gladly let it devour him. He doesn’t even remember pulling the blankets up to his chest and softly beginning to snooze. The last thing he felt before fading to the blackness was the gentle feeling of Arthur nibbling on his hair, lulling him to sleep.

  


~

  


In a dark room, even the slightest of light can be detected. The lack of exposure causes the iris in the eye to expand, allowing as much light in as possible in order to compensate for the lack thereof. Suzaku opened his eyes, but only saw black. No matter how he blinked or turned his head, it was all just black. He looked down for his hands, and it felt like he was standing somehow even though he doesn’t remember leaving his bed in the first place. He turned his palms over, searching for the scars and creases he knows should be there, but he sees nothing but darkness.  
  
“Your ideals are weak, my son.”  
  
His head snapped up, looking forward and searching for the voice.  
  
“You’re weak. You coward. How can you expect to feel alive when you’re afraid to live?”  
  
He frantically looked around him, his equilibrium thrown off in the darkness that consumed every one of his surroundings, not knowing which way was up or down but only knowing that he had to escape.  
  
“I’ll live! I’ll fight for what is true, honest and just and that is what will make me feel alive!” That sound… it echoed and resonated in the deepest recesses of him, and he realized. It was him. Young, innocent Suzaku.  
  
Oh no. No no no he remembered now, he remembered this, he knew what was about to happen. “No, stop. Wait! Suzaku don’t do it!” he yelled into the gripping blackness, but at no one in particular his words fell on deaf ears.  
  
That terrible sound, the sound of a sword piercing flesh. A wet sliding from the blade becoming slick with blood, followed by a crunch when it pierces bone. Suzaku screams, mindlessly chanting “No no no please no!”  
  
He let out a frail cry of agony as he sat up in bed, chest heaving and sweat dampening the sheets. He stared down at the navy blue comforter, watching his legs tremble beneath the blanket as he tried to catch his breath. Had he known how these nightmares would come to plague him, even so distantly in the future, he would’ve forced his younger self to withdraw.

  


~

  


“It’s someone you want to protect you, right?” Jade asked.  
  
This wasn’t a typical morning breakfast conversation, however Euphie wanted advice on how to approach the matter, leading to an ever-curious Jade’s lot of questions.  
  
Cornelia walked over with a tray of fresh snacks and sat down beside them, even with the vast arrangement of seats in the grand dining room. She chuckled with an ever present edge to her voice that could cut glass. “You know you’re going to have to choose sooner or later.”  
  
“Well I choose later then.” Euphie easily retorted and sipped her tea eloquently, making Cornelia crack a full-blown laugh. Euphie returned her attention to Jade’s previous question.  
  
“Protection is essential, yes, but sometimes it can mean more than that.” Euphie snatched a small cake from the platter Cornelia had carried over for the three of them, taking a large but still graceful bite and covered her mouth as she chewed. “It can lead to more than that, I mean. You should always choose someone you could imagine spending every day with, because you never know when or where you will need them or for how long.”  
  
Jade eyed Euphie as she set down the remainder of her treat, and she looked down into her lap. Jade studied her hands and turned them over in one another, thinking of how you could possibly have such a connection with someone who’s sole purpose is to protect you. A romantic connection could possibly stir with practically anybody, she supposed, but it wouldn’t be wise to mix emotions and political appropriateness.  
  
“You mean romantic potential?” she asked as she looked up meekly.  
  
Euphie slowly turned her head from side to side, pondering the question as she chewed the last bite of her cake. “Yes and no. You don’t want to be inappropriate, but there should be a connection. A spark. When you need them, they need to know. They should feel it. That’s what makes them a great knight.”  
  
Jade hung on every word her middle sister was saying. Someone special, was the key thing she was gathering from all this. Jade knew Euphie had to select one because as independent as she was, every single person in their advisory agreed that her safety was the top priority. However, Cornelia had been around longer than the both of them and she had never once even been asked to delegate one, let alone pressured the way Euphie was, and someday the way Jade would be. “Cornelia? How come you’ve never appointed a knight?”  
  
Cornelia scoffed with a slight smirk, wise and empowered. “Never needed one.”  
  
Jade smiled at that. “So even the advisors can see you’re a total badass?”  
  
“I mean, you don’t have to look very hard.” she responded, laughing heartily. Even Euphie laughed, mouth full of tart. Cornelia sighed with a soft smile, “I don’t know, Jade. I’ve always taken pride in being able to look after myself. I don’t want anybody else doing it for me, no offense to you girls.” They all laughed as she hastily added: “But you’re both so soft!”  
  
All three laughed even harder than before, and Euphie and Jade didn’t even try to argue because they agreed completely. They didn’t need protection in a drastic situation, both harbored enough intelligence and adrenalin to be able to take action if needed, but the thought of knowing someone had their back every hour of the day would help them sleep at night if they found themselves caught up in a war.  
  
Jade grabbed a small pastry from the platter as well and sipped on her tea before taking a small bite. “Hey, being soft can be a good thing! We provide gentility where you might be harsh, and you know when to take action when we might be too submissive.”  
  
And it was true about one thing, where one sister lacked, the others made up for it in plentiful quantities.  


  


~

  


Each time Jade was brought out into the Grand Hall, she was still surprised by it’s massive capacities. Tens, maybe even dozens of thousands of people could fit comfortably within broadcasting range, allowing more than plenty of room for all of Britannia to gather each time one of the members of the royal family made a public appearance. The crowd chattered and bustled with gossip and cheers as they awaited Princess Euphemia’s announcement concerning who had won the art competition.  
  
Jade sat timidly at the extravagant dining table for far too many beside Euphemia, as they listened to the preceding speech that dragged on for far too long. They exchanged occasional glances of confusion and annoyance when the royal visor said something ridiculous. Euphie always mocked him by crossing her eyes in a dopey manner, which always made Jade laugh. People always had the wrong idea of her, and Jade knew that the Princess Euphemia they were exposed to was nothing like the Euphie she lived with. Princess Euphemia was plain, boring, and always followed the rules by the book, but Euphie was bold, funny, warm, and honorable.  
  
“Without further ado, I present her majesty, Princess Euphemia Li Britannia.” and with the applause that ensued, Euphemia stood and took her place at the stand to announce the piece of artwork she had chosen to have the honor of being displayed not only in the palace, but before the whole world. Jade looked on with fondness, smiling as her sister addressed the people with the grace and dignity she always possessed.  
  
“Ladies and gentlemen, my people, I stand before you a proud Britannian. One who you might see as sheltered, coddled and uneducated, but I choose to see as respectful, gentle and rational. I do not spend every day cooped up inside my glorious palace, living my perfect life whilst eating tea and crumpets.” The audience was surprised, to say the least, but still hung on every word she had spoken. “I am fully aware that we, as a nation, feel threatened. But I believe in the finer things, and the idea that as long as we choose to focus on the beauty in the world, rather than become lost in the fear of it, then we can live truly meaningful lives. That is why, even in the midst of conflict, I feel blessed and honored to have the ability to stand here and congratulate these fine artists for the beauty they have contributed to the world.”  
  
Applause erupted from the audience, cheering and chanting praise for the side of the princess they had seldom seen. The happiness came to an abrupt halt, however, when the large canvas screen displayed at the front of the stadium illuminated in a static jolt with an emergency broadcast.  
  
All that could be seen was fierce Knightmare combat as robots thrashed back and forth, some with weapons and some without. The metallic gleam of each form glimmered in the reflective sunlight as each one rebounded dangerously close to the camera. Citizens gasped, some shrieked, and women shielded the children’s eyes. Some fled the grand audience altogether.  
  
A battle was waging in the midst of a bloody war’s beginnings, and in the end who knew how many would come out alive. For the two pictured on screen, it was anyone’s game. One Knightmare lunged at the other, it’s opponent rapidly recovering and charging back in it’s direction.  
Euphemia gasped as the actions waged on, running back over to Jade, in panic mode. “What the hell is that?” Euphemia whispered, but with the intensity mirrored in a shout.  
  
Jade was speechless, but mustered out: “It looks like a battle, but who’s fighting? And why do we need to see it on today of all days?” Euphemia returned her attention to the screen, as did Jade, both mouths dropped and eyes wide.  
  
A voice pounded over the intercom accompanying the speaker. “Knight Kururugi Suzaku, occupying the Knightmare Lancelot, defends his country heroically by piloting one of the highest honor mechanisms in military history.”  
  
“So it’s a news broadcast.” Jade realized. Euphemia nodded weakly.  
  
They watched as mechanical bodies were thrown and pummeled, knocked and charged, beaten and thrashed, each time coming back stronger than the last. Until the smaller of the two robots was thrown into the ground with such harsh intention that it short-circuited, and the Knight Lancelot seized the opportunity. The pilot commanded the figure to leap on top of the opposing robot and in between static breaches Jade was able to piece together the victor.  
  
A brief transition on screen revealed the Lancelot’s captain, a tall, lithe figure with thick dark hair and piercing green eyes, Jade, to say the least, was left speechless.  
  
His hands gripped the controls inside of the cockpit, tense muscles stiffening as the realization sunk in that the battle had been won. His hair flowed down his profile slightly and small strands nipped at his sun kissed neck, which led to the broad shoulders that ultimately commandeered the Lancelot with his athletic arms. More than all of that, he wore an expression of determination, integrity, and bravery. Jade’s eyes glanced him once over, then once more, and the simplest of simple statements that could be concluded from such a sight was this: he was beautiful.  
  
Jade was not a fool, and she definitely wasn’t such a hopelessly lost romantic that she romanticized life as though she could not live without love. She wasn’t sure she even believed in love at first sight but now, in this moment, if it existed then boy this was it.  
  
She was staring so intently, but softly, as though she had already become fond of the green-eyed lad, whom she didn’t even know, in fact, that she failed to notice Euphie crossing the stage at a hastened pace to recover her position by the microphone.  
  
“Ladies and gentlemen, my people. You have all questioned enough regarding when I shall choose a Knight to defend me in the dark times that approach us, and who that Knight will in fact be.” She gestured forward in a grandiose fashion. “Well ladies and gentlemen, I give to you my Knight. I choose Suzaku Kururugi to protect me under the title of my royal Knight.”  
  
That was when Jade’s head finally snapped away and turned to Euphie. Had she been serious? She couldn’t possibly make this decision so quickly, and right here on the spot like this it all just seemed so… hasty.  
  
The crowd had gasped in borderline perfect unison and was now chattering gossip among themselves as Euphemia continued. “He has proven himself worthy on no other day but today, and that is why--” Jade had finally reached her destination and broken in, cutting her off.  
  
“And that is why… Suzaku Kururugi will act as both of our Knight.”  


  


~

  


Cornelia slammed the bedroom door behind them with force that could break the windows. Jade was surprised the few windows in the room were still even intact. “What the hell was that, Jade?” She was scary when she got angry, when she was furious it was a new sense of fear unprecedented by even the stupidest of men.  
  
“I don’t know why I did that Cornelia, I -- I really don’t but I felt like I had to do it.”  
  
“Talk to your god damn sister right now!” she roared at Euphemia, who simply stood quietly, arms crossed as she gazed at Jade with an expression mixed with confusion and admiration.  
  
She looked down at the ground and stepped forward slowly, gently, until she was inches from Jade. “I wouldn’t have had the courage to do that. You must want this pretty badly.”  
  
A simple statement sent Cornelia full-on eye roll, throwing hands into the air, and shaking her head in disbelief, the classic “Cornelia’s being dramatic, but probably right”. Jade finally had the courage to look up from her own eyes’ gaze at the floor, and when she did she saw the genuine proudness in Euphemia’s look. “However."

“However?” Cornelia sprang back into the conversation, jumping next to Euphemia with her own arms folded.  
  
“However?” Jade echoed, her tone much softer and aired more on the side of surprised rather than relieved.  
  
“However. Jade, I understand you want to be older and make your own decisions but that was too much.” she stated with simplicity that was unexpectedly quelling of Jade’s pride. “There’s a difference between making responsible, adult decisions after thinking them over for a while and making purely inappropriate ones at the wrong time and place.”  
  
“After thinking them over? You mean like how you thought this one over for three seconds after learning Sir Kururugi’s name?” Jade responded, to everyone’s surprise, but not without a snarky snicker from Cornelia which commanded the other girls’ attention. Jade refocused on Euphemia. “You said to choose someone you could imagine spending every day with!”  
  
“Not like that!”  
  
“In all fairness, Euphie, Jade does deserve and need a Knight’s protection just as well as you do.” Cornelia interjected. Maybe she was defending her because she appreciated Jade’s snide remark, or maybe it was just because Cornelia was able to rethink and reconsider that quickly. She’d have to remind herself to thank her eldest sister later.  
  
Maybe she could win her other sister over with the truth. “Euphie, this wasn’t just about me wanting protection.” That got both sisters’ attention in a snap. “I can’t explain it, but when I saw Sir Kururugi’s face on the screen for the first time, I felt something. A tug. I feel a special connection to this one, and I can’t tell you why just yet, but in that moment I decided I wanted to find out. I have to meet him, Euphie, I have to. I want to know him and understand him. All I know is what’s on the surface but I need more. He intrigues me.”  
  
Euphie blinks, unsure of what exactly to say. How does someone respond to their younger sister speaking of a man she didn’t know with such easy affection? She knew what this was, she knew what Jade was beginning to feel but every mental muscle pulled her back ferociously, tugging and pulling at her subconscious in a desperate attempt to let her sister fall without psychologically dooming her from the start.  
  
“I propose an idea.” she claimed instead. Cornelia shifted her posture slightly, exhibiting a now more annoyed, but intrigued look, almost as if to say “Ugh, what now?” while Jade furrowed her brows in confusion.  
  
“If he agrees, Suzaku will serve as your Knight. But, he will also be mine, just like you said. He will do Knightly duties, serve and protect us, for one month’s time. Then, by the end of that time, we will give him the option to choose whose Knight he wishes to remain. This arrangement would be kept secret, of course, however the world must suspect he has royal involvement by now. Nonetheless, no one will know the semantics. And it would be best of luck to whomever Suzaku Kururugi wants himself. Do we have a deal?”  
  
Jade looked long and hard at Princess Euphemia, trying hard not to show her tell as she debated the magnitude of exactly what she was asking of not only her, but this Knight as well. But of course, Jade didn’t succeed at hiding her answer, and Euphemia immediately reached for the hidden button under her armoire to summon the guards.  
  
“Gentlemen? Contact Sir Suzaku Kururugi, please.”  


  


~

  


Suzaku tapped his fingers on the desk anxiously as he snuck a glance at the royal guard who stood motionless a mere five feet from him. Whether he was there to keep any threat out or to keep Suzaku in he had no idea, and he didn’t care to test the waters in order to find out.  
Just as Suzaku inhaled a sharp breath to attempt to make conversation, the doors to the central foreroom opened, and in walked two more guards surrounding two girls.  
“Ladies Euphemia and Jade Li Britannia, Sir Kururugi. Sent for you specifically.” one of the beefy guards announced, voice thicker than his physique. After a moment of letting that incredible detail sink in, Suzaku nodded politely and the guards bowed prior to exiting, no doubt only moving a mere dozen feet to stand just outside the door.

The silence was dense and harsh among the three, each choosing somewhere to stare besides one another’s faces. The awkwardness in the air wasn’t broken until Euphemia spoke, which startled Suzaku and forced him to look at her.  
  
“I understand our proposition must come off as a bit unorthodox.” she explained kindly.  
  
He shook his head quickly, trying to diffuse what was left of the awkward energy. “No, no of course not, your majesties.” He moved his eyes to look the other one in hers. “We --”  
  
In that moment, all million words in the language he knew might as well have been turned to dust, because Suzaku was beyond speechless. He had always dreamed of meeting Princess Euphemia, beloved by all, to even be vaguely in her presence was to love her. But hardly anyone ever spoke of Princess Jade, mostly because she wasn’t a public figure like Euphemia but oh god. Had they seen her, Suzaku knew she would be loved just as widely and admired just as respectfully. The gleam in her eyes reminded Suzaku of the sense of happiness he had beared as a child and he wondered if maybe her life was still unsullied. He knew the likelihood was slim, but he prayed.

The longer he stared, the longer it felt since time had stopped. She smiled and returned his intrigued gaze longingly, however Suzaku seemed to be slipping into a trance more than anything. He felt like he had been struck by lightning, every feeling pouring out of him in silent gestures and kind glances as if liquid warmth was oozing from every crack the bolts had created. His head was swimming in a pool of instantaneous adoration, and for once feeling lost never felt so good.  
  
“We soldiers are trained to…” He blinked and tried his hardest to gather himself, but he was fumbling. Every time he thought his hand was gripped on the life preserver of reality the sea of veneration pulled him back under. He grappled for the surface. “To handle any task! No matter how strange it may seem, your highness, trust me.” He didn’t break eye contact with Jade the entire time, despite the fact that every word he was saying was directed at the other princess in the room. Euphie noticed, smiling slightly but continued on, amusement in her eyes.  
  
“So we can count on you then, Officer Kururugi?”  
  
He didn’t hesitate. “With honor, your majesties.”  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Suzaku became a walking controversy every time he entered the safeground to practice, mostly due to the fact that the ring was in and of itself a walking controversy. The contained environment proved most useful regarding practice to kill, the safe nature of such a place directly arguing the violent purpose that it served. One of Suzaku’s favorite things about it. He loved the intensity of training to kill without actually being driven to kill somebody.  
  
He wondered what Princess Jade would think of such a place, such a practice that was a thinly-veiled element of his life, hidden behind an honorable and valiant guise. Would her kind, soft eyes look down on him if she actually witnessed what his job might come to? Such beauty in the same world as such evil, evil like Zero. What a cruel irony that one must kill, or even train to kill, in order to maintain peace and order. Suzaku imagined she had lived a sheltered life and couldn’t possibly understand the true intentions of the society we live in.  
  
Still, the depth of those dark eyes knew no bounds. If she knew nothing of cruelty and despair, what did hide behind the face of someone with such history? He thought about the past she might hold, the secrets she might keep and the whispered words she would never utter unless it was to the one she trusted most. She seemed so fragile, but how fragile could she be when she was also so bold and educated on the matters of her people? Which, all things considered, was a sensitive subject for someone too afraid to bear them.  
  
His Knightmare crashing backwards into the wall behind him snapped him out of his trance, followed by Gino’s unmistakable laughter. “C’mon, dude! You’re normally kind of out of it but today you’re ridiculous! I mean I can’t really blame you after what happened with Jade the other day, but --”  
  
“Princess Jade, Gino. And I’m fine, it’s nothing I can’t handle.” The job, yes. His feelings, on the other hand… maybe then it was a lie.  
  
The things that kept Suzaku awake at night were no longer the haunting dreams of his father’s death, but he was too occupied with the new reason to be relieved. He had found himself constantly questioning his heart nowadays, and succumbed to a different kind of insomnia as images of jade made reappearances in his mind during the small hours of the night. He had longed to meet Princess Euphemia all his life, ever since he was young, as he was captivated by her beauty and grace, not unlike others. However, it was different. He saw her not as a dignity but as a soul, and a beautiful one at that. But now there was Jade, and in meeting her somehow she had managed to pierce his own soul in a matter of those few moments spent together.  
  
Ever since he can remember, he’s only wanted Princess Euphemia. Now, everything’s changed because of Jade.  
  
He tried to shake it off, convincing himself to save the mercilessly pressing thoughts that had returned at the most inconvenient time for later, most likely that night as he futilely tried to sleep. Of course, naturally these feelings would plague him as he needed his utmost focus. He rebounded surprisingly quickly in his robotic mechanism, shaking it off mentally and physically.  
  
“Anyway, let’s try another round, shall we?” Suzaku continued.  
  
“Forget it, bud! You must be in la la land or something. I can’t practice with you when you’re in this state of mind. Let’s break?” Gino removed his headset before he could object, lowering himself to the ground and walking through the soft blades of grass towards Suzaku’s Knightmare.  
  
Suzaku sighed and mentally kicked himself for losing focus, before discarding his own headset and exiting onto the grassy turf below. He walked over to Gino and uncapped his water bottle, dousing his head and shoulders as usual.  
  
“You know this is out of character for me, right? I’m not normally like this.” Suzaku said softly, as if he was ashamed to even admit that he was having an off day and not everyone was entitled to that sometimes.  
  
“Hey it’s not my fault you’re smitten with the princesses!” he taunted, dragging the last word out with a shrill teasing sound. He gave Suzaku a playful nudge and he smirked slightly, pushing him back and spraying some of his water on him, beginning a full-fledged water fight. In that moment it was as if they were 12 years old again, when life was beautiful and carefree. If only it could be like that always, but Suzaku treasured moments like these more because of the fact that it wasn’t.

  


~

  


“The threat grows stronger every day…” Euphemia stated matter-of-factly over a cup of tea. Jade sat opposite her chair, gazing out the window in the corner and sipping her own. “At this rate, we’ll have to treat the palace as a bunker and recluse ourselves.” She had with an uncomfortable sense of light-heartedness to her voice, and Jade could tell she was only half-kidding.  
  
Cornelia entered the room and shedded her jacket, tossing it onto a nearby chair and slowly strutted over to where her sisters were. “Zero is clearly a force to be dealt with, but until he comes out of the shadows there isn’t much we can do.”  
  
Jade said nothing, she wholeheartedly agreed with her. Zero was somebody who meant harm, maybe not to the people but to the royals, and if he ever found a way to penetrate the dignitarian security then Lord help the princesses. No one associated to the royal family was safe, for that matter if that were to happen.  
  
“True, however we must still focus on protecting each other. We’re all we’ve got in times like this, Cornelia.” Euphemia stated, no edge to her voice but a tone of absolute totality. Though not the eldest of her sisters, Euphemia still possessed a certain protective nature about her which was hardly ever tempted by even the foolish. When her sisters were on the line, she’d throw her hand on a blade in no question.  
  
“I know that, Euphie but we’re all our people have as well. We won’t compromise their safety in order to secure our own, I refuse. It is not an option.”  
  
“But what about the people associated with us?” Jade questioned from her spot in the windowsill. Euphie and Cornelia turned and cocked their heads slightly in question.

“We may be responsible for the people, but without us where will they turn? Terrorist threats directly targeting the Britannian family pose much more danger to us because we’re the ones they want. But they’re not after citizens, they just don’t care who gets caught in the crossfire.”  
  
Cornelia nodded. “She’s right, but we can’t shut ourselves out. We need to be accessible if our people need us.”  
  
“Maybe a system similar to a Sunday church confessional?” Euphie suggested.  
  
“That could still give terrorists potential access to us if intended.” Cornelia replied.  
  
“It’s not about closing ourselves off from the rest of the country.” Jade interrupted suddenly. “We need to protect the ones who can protect us, simple. If we build a reliable team of enforcements, then we can sleep peacefully and so will this nation.”  
  
This time it was Euphemia who nodded. “I agree with Jade.” She crossed and stood by her. Cornelia smiled from across the small space between them and shook her head. “That being said, I suggest we invite Sergeant Kururugi to take permanent residence here for the duration of his trial.”  
  
Cornelia’s smile dropped more quickly than it had surfaced. “Excuse me? Euphie, you can’t be serious.”  
  
“But I am.” Jade’s mouth hung open in surprise, as she gazed at Euphemia and hung on every word she said. She couldn’t believe her ears. Of course she would’ve wanted Suzaku to move into the palace, hell she even had to force herself to bury the thought once or twice in the late hours of night, however asking her sisters to actually approve was beyond her wildest dreams. “Kururugi needs to be protected if we plan on asking him to protect us in return.”  
  
“I don’t recall your proposition to include sheltering the boy.”  
  
“How could anyone possibly expect him to offer protection if he’s dead?”  
  
Cornelia was silent. For a moment. She cleared her throat. “Fine. Do what you like, just make sure he has a separate wing from mine.” And on that, she swiftly exited the grand parlor.  
  
Jade couldn’t comprehend the conversation she had just heard with her own ears. If Suzaku accepted, he was going to be living with her. Living, with her and her family. How could she possibly keep professional composure with him merely paces away practically every hour of every day? No challenge was insurmountable for her in times of great need or dire necessity, however with Suzaku present, that made her much more susceptible to him. He wasn’t the most charming, actually he was kind of an awkward guy, but there was a certain allure to his vehement personality that she couldn’t ignore.  
  
That night, when they met and her hand touched his… oh God what a sensation she had felt. He may see her as nothing more than her title, a mere piece to protect in an assembly line of Knighthood duties he was destined to accept in years to come, but that wouldn’t stop her feelings from running rampant should she find herself in his presence more frequently than conventionally deemed appropriate.  
  
She accepted Euphie’s suggestion with a calm expression on her face, keeping her raging mind and racing heart at a carefully concealed bay. Whatever these next weeks would bring, were it to be Suzaku or a lesson learned, she told herself she was prepared whatever the outcome, even if it was a little white lie.

  


~

  


Suzaku rummaged in this drawer and that drawer, peeked on to these shelves and those shelves, in a struggle to find everything that he needed for an entire month within a few hours. Moving into a whole new place is scary enough, but this was a palace, a palace with Princess Jade… he didn’t want to imagine coming in unprepared. A whole life of smart thinking and planning ahead wasn’t about to fail him when it mattered most.  
  
A knock at the door snapped him out of his stupor. “Oh, come in?”  
  
His familiar face was always an unusual comfort for Suzaku, like knowing where your favorite lighter is just in case the power shuts out or finding hair ties in random places. “Hey I just wanted to -- Oh. What exactly are you doing, Suzaku? Going on a trip?” Lelouch asked.  
  
He laughed almost undetectably, but fond still. “You could say that.”  
  
“Care to elaborate?” There was a trace of humor to his voice, like always. Lelouch seemed to find the entire world amusing in one way or the other.  
  
“I’ve been asked to take care of a special assignment and I won’t be back for a few weeks.” He smiled when he turned his attention to that blasted cat laying in his pile of folded laundry, setting him down onto the floor gently.  
  
“You’re scaring me, Suzaku.” Lelouch laughed. He was always good at getting what he wants, especially when that means information, and Suzaku was no exception. “You know I worry about you. C’mon, I’m your best friend.” He played the friendship card, he had him now.  
  
Suzaku grinned slightly, caving. “All I’m allowed to say is it involves Princesses Euphemia and Jade. Promise me you’ll let Arthur bite you for a bit while I’m gone? He needs a different taste in his mouth.”  
  
Lelouch laughed. Not a smug chuckle, but an actual warm-hearted, happy laugh. A rare sight. He picked up the cat and pet him gently in his arms, and Suzaku swore he had never seen that cat actually calm down up until that moment, instantly settling into the cradle of Lelouch’s hands.  
  
“I see. Well if my girlfriend wanted me to move in so fast I’d have to rethink the entire relationship status.”  
  
Dammit, of course he saw the broadcast. Still, Suzaku laughs wholeheartedly. He needed that in times like this, Lelouch’s humor. How was he honestly expected to make this decision after only one month of hardly even spending time with two beautiful girls?  
  
“You’ll be fantastic at whatever you do.” he continued. “And you can always return if you need to. I’m sure with someone of your status, they’d be very forgiving if you just wanted to come home.”  
  
Suzaku gave him a sincere look, and turned to put his folded, now very hairy, laundry into his suitcase when Lelouch’s phone buzzed. He placed Arthur on the floor, who immediately ran back over to Suzaku and began to nibble his ankles, eliciting an annoyed “Hey!”. Lelouch reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, 1 Unread Message:

_From Liv <3 ;):  
“Sooo I’m waiting behind the shed, will you be joining me? ;)”_

Suzaku was too occupied with prying his cat off of his leg to notice, so Lelouch quickly began to type out a response when his phone buzzed yet again:  
  
_“Hurry up or I’ll have to start making out with this hoe.” ___

Oh crap. “I I um, Suzaku? I have to go, sorry, but I - something really important came up but I promise I’ll come back and catch up with you later before you leave, okay?” he yelled in a hurried, jumbled exclamation, practically halfway out the door by the end of it.  
  
Before Suzaku could even turn his head and respond, he was gone. Huh. Must’ve really been that important.

  


~

  


Arthur was almost always a menace, true, but it was an odd sort of nostalgia when the sly little shithead furball wasn’t around to coat Suzaku’s black clothing in his lovely cat hair. Besides missing his mischievous feline, there was so much more to this place than Suzaku had anticipated. It was all so new, and the palace was much emptier than he had initially figured considering how big it looked from the outside. The dining hall’s table comfortably seated twenty and yet still would look miniscule had the room been viewed from above. Every pair of french doors was beautifully crafted from fine wood, glass, or some combination of the two and provided a beautifully calm swish upon opening. The halls created ghostly echoes with every footstep that graced its floors, vast walls that were ironically empty considering how they were occupied to the brim with precious art and decor.  
  
Everything was different. Just the royal guest bedroom was still the nicest suite he had definitely ever seen, let alone stayed in.  
  
He folded his more casual articles of clothing before opening one of the vanity drawers and placing the pile in, proceeding to pull open the one above it intended for his training attire. A knock at the door sounded in time with the noise of Suzaku shutting the drawer. He turned his head, which displayed a quizzical look, hunched over at first as he slowly used the tips of his fingers atop the vanity’s counter to raise himself to a standing position.  
  
He crossed to the door and opened it, a smile instantly spreading his face in a charming but smitten manner.  
  
“Evening, Officer Kururugi. Just wanted to see how you were getting along.” Jade smiled as she spoke, and he decided in that moment that that was one of his favorite things about her.  
  
“I’m getting along more than finely, thank you. But please, just Suzaku.” He smiled.  
  
She blushed and turned away shyly when he said that. “Suzaku, then.”  
  
She was dressed in what was clearly relaxed clothing, a simple outfit which disregarded traditional princess garments. Her hair, however, cascaded down her shoulders and highlighted the gentle features of her face as the black waves framed her face. He liked her this way, of course he would’ve enjoyed looking at her in any light, on any day and in any appearance, but this was something new. He subconsciously knew that seeing her in a way hardly anyone else ever had was a privilege and it only aided in his emotional attraction to her. His eyes had already seen more sides of her than the rest of the people ever would, not to mention the ones still left unexplored by him, which gave him a sense of closeness and proximity to who she really was, and the thought comforted him. He had always wanted to be close to someone, but it would stand in the way of his fighting. His training, his militant life he had worked so hard to build and establish.  
  
“Listen I know this place can be kind of crazy, it’s so big and very easy to get lost in. Do you mind if I show you around? Maybe take a break from unpacking?”  
  
He blinked, three times in three seconds. This couldn’t possibly be regulation, but he was tempted. He probably shouldn’t, not if he wanted to maintain his professional and respectful impression but still the gravitational pull of Jade was too strong for him to resist.  
  
“Yes, of course.” he smiled as he accepted, closing the door behind him as her own smile lit up her face, and decided unpacking can wait until later.

  


~

  


In his life, Suzaku had encountered very few examples of privilege. Nothing had ever been just handed to him, unless it was the keys to a brand new military fighting machine but that was the one and only exception. From the earliest dregs of his childhood, he had had the belief ingrained deep into his system that you begin life worthless, and if you wanted anything more than that you had to earn it. But the palace had seemed to have a mind of it’s own, making sure you knew just how incredibly grand it was with it’s open windows, vast halls and sometimes almost too-magnificent aesthetic features.  
  
“And this is the kitchen door, but if you ever need anything to eat outside of regular meal times you can always just ring for the chef.” Suzaku gave Jade a puzzled look and cocked his head in the most adorable way, blinking in question. She chuckled, “There’s a button underneath your bedside table.”  
  
Suzaku smiled and chuckled back warmly, but nervously. In most situations he encountered with, he felt very at home and practiced, but he felt entirely out of his element here. Everything was grand, grand this and grand that, and the name directly reflected the environment that in which it was referencing.  
  
“Next is the rooms led to by the grand hall,” Jade gestured around the corner for him to follow her. There it was again, that grand something. He followed shortly behind her, admiring the way her eyes gleamed when she flashed her profile and how her hair seemed to know just when to perfectly wave out of the way.  
  
She lead the way, chattering happily and rambling about this and that, but Suzaku found it all to be so endearing. Her eyes sparkled when she was excited, and she liked to talk with hand gestures, he noticed. Both were adorable, and he was already so endeared even after knowing her for only a few hours.  
  
They came to another set of grand double french doors, and Suzaku moved quickly to intercept the handle from Jade’s grasp, opening it for her and bowing ever so slightly. She smiled meekly and walked through, entering the first foyer.  
  
“Um, I beg your pardon, Princess, but.. what do you call this room again?” Suzaku questioned hesitantly, turning a bit red in the face.  
  
Jade laughed slightly, not in a mean way but just an endeared chuckle. “A foyer. There’s another in the South Wing, where your room is. I like to spend most of my spare time in here, plenty of room to think and relax if you just need some quiet time.” She grinned over at Suzaku, who ran his dexterous fingers over the mahogany coffee table which occupied the room’s center. He looked up at her bright smile and immediately returned a gentle one, walking closer to her and placing his hands on the back of the rosebud colored lounge chair separating them.  
  
“You? Free time? Seems impossible.” He grinned smoothly, charming and seductive.  
  
She blushed. “It is. Nearly impossible, anyways. But everyone deserves some time to think now and again, don’t you agree?”  
  
“Oh yeah, everyone deserves it, sure, but the question is who actually has time for it.”  
  
She smirked and let out a gentle laugh, and Suzaku couldn’t help but stare with a serene expression on his face at her radiance. God, she was beautiful. Really something. Out of all the things he had expected to see in this palace and throughout this experience, he never would’ve guessed this.  
  
“Shall we?” Jade looked back over her shoulder at Suzaku, lost in thought and blank stares as he watched her like an idiot, realizing she had already nearly walked out of the room.  
  
He shook it off mentally and nodded, his dumb smile dropping from his face as he quickly stood to gather himself. He ambled over to the doorway she was headed for and gestured for her to go first, once again offering a hurried but professional bow as Jade giggled at his formality. They walked in silence for only a few seconds before Suzaku felt desperate to uphold the conversation’s momentum.  
  
“And may I ask what’s that? Over there?” Suzaku chuckled and gestured towards a beautiful bay window, resting comfortably in the grand hallway which led to Jade’s bedroom. Jade smiled and Suzaku extended his arm in a polite, gentlemanly fashion, silently requesting that she allow him to escort her.  
  


  


~

  


The pattering rain echoed within the confined palace walls, particularly the grand hallway and it’s beautiful bay window exposed to the world, overlooking the garden and porch circling around the East Wing. Jade and Suzaku sat upon the window seat, her in a graceful position facing the outside world just beyond the rain soaked glass. He, with one foot planted firmly on the ground whilst the other was bent upwards, foot placed upon the thin cushions and accompanied by his arm resting on the knee. He held his head up with his hand, his elbow set gently on the windowsill.  
  
He studied her as he spoke, although sometimes his mind was so entranced by her words he found himself gazing outside the window and imagining the world as she spoke of it. The quietly tapping rain complimented the beating of both hearts beneath it, gazing out into the dark night in comfortable silence, until Jade broke it.  
“Do you ever feel trapped, Suzaku?”  
  
His head snapped towards hers abruptly. What a sudden question. “How do you mean?”  
  
“Trapped. Feeling out of control, like you’re stuck in a rut and can’t get out.”  
  
He thought for a moment, returning his gaze back to beyond the window. How did this girl already know everything he was even too afraid to admit to himself, and was so perfectly spoken about it? He had spent his whole life feeling exactly that way… trapped. Still, she didn’t need to know the darkness he was ashamed to hide. She didn’t deserve that kind of punishment. “I’ve felt bored with my life before, trapped because there’s nowhere to go from here. My life has pretty much already become all it will be.”  
  
She studied his features as he spoke, much like he did with her, but her look was with more fascination while his was pure adoration. She wanted to crack this boy, see the deepest parts of him the he would never expose to anyone but her, if she was lucky.  
  
“Not that it’s any of my business, Lady Vi Britannia, but how might you feel trapped?”  
  
She was stunned, but hardly showed it. No one ever asked about her in that way, a way that actually seemed like they were genuinely concerned about her, besides Euphemia. “I feel as though these walls are a prison. I have so much I want to offer the world: saving people, touching lives, being someone’s hero. And I can’t do any of that when the only thing I’m treated like is a materialized object for worship, a pretty face for a country I’ve never been truly allowed to fight for.”  
  
Suzaku blinked in shock, staring at her with an expression he’s 99% positive he’s never made in his life. “Jade…” he reached for her hand and hesitated, then followed through when she didn’t seem to object. He held her hand gingerly and stroked his thumb across her knuckles as he continued. “You’re so much more than that to many people, you are someone’s hero somewhere.”  
  
She couldn’t even find the right words to say thank you, she was speechless. Comfort, compassion, affection, gentleness, maybe even… no.  
  
She simply smiled. “So are you, Suzaku, I’m sure.”  
  
He smiled shyly in return and continued to hold her hand, terrified that at any moment Jade might pull back and awkwardly hurry away with a weak excuse about it being time for bed.  
  
But she didn’t. Instead, she placed her spare palm over his that held her, and continued: “May I ask you something? Something personal?”  
  
Suzaku looked into her eyes, then down at her hands, now one beneath and one on top of his. “Of course, you’re always free to ask me anything you wish.”  
  
She paused for a moment, as if she desperately needed this time to find just the perfect way to phrase this question. “Why do you fight? How do you wake up every morning, knowing your job is to go out there and try to kill people?”  
  
He flinched slightly at such an odd and violent question. Jade deserved the truth, of course, and it pained him to not be able to give that to her this time, however he can’t afford to lose this chance to be a Royal Knight and he really couldn’t lose his chances with Jade.  
  
“My father died when I was young. He was murdered, as I’m sure you know, but he died fighting. An honorable man.” God, those words tasted like vinegar as they escaped his lips. “Anyone who dies with honor is someone who deserves his kin to follow their example. He was killed by a bad man, so never again should a bad man be allowed to live if I can help it. That’s why I fight.”  
  
She nodded deeply as she studied Suzaku’s hands, tracing her gentle fingertips along the minute details of his hands.  
  
“But why put your life on the line so drastically? There’s a way to bring good into the world without bringing in violence first.”  
  
“We all have sins. I’m simply atoning for mine.” He didn’t dare look her in the eyes. There was no humor left in his voice. Lighthearted, normally endearingly goofy and shy Suzaku, for the first time as long as Jade had known him, was nowhere to be found.  
  
“Doesn’t that seem a little extreme?” she smiled softly, but her inquiry remained serious.  
  
He shook his head and smiled back at her in the same manner. “Not to me.”  
  
They continued to watch the rain in perfect silence, thick but not awkward, as their hands remained intertwined. And as for their hearts, on this night the necessary seeds were planted as they had started to become the same exact way. 

  


~

  


Many minutes later, they were still seated by the same bay window and the rain had continued to pour outside, only this time Jade was sitting against Suzaku and had leaned her head on his shoulder. They breathed contentedly, enjoying one another’s company before the moment had to end eventually.  
  
“That’s a lovely garden.” Suzaku commented, so quiet it was almost inaudible. His voice sounded tired, gruff and sexy, but still a raspy whisper.  
  
“It is,” Jade replied. “During the Spring my sisters and I love to use it to grow vegetables and herbs, it’s great for the kitchen. But during this rainy season it’s perfect for flowers, they always get plenty of water. Remind me to show you it sometime?” she added tenderly. She of course sounded tired, but Suzaku had selfishly decided he wasn’t ready to bid her good night just yet. She looked up at him, gazing from above his shoulder, and blinked her eyes with such grace and beauty Suzaku was left almost speechless. If she’s this adorable when she’s tired before bed, imagine what it’s like waking up next to her in the morning… Oh god, stop it!  
  
“I will,” he answered coolly, a surprising recover from where his train of thought was just headed. She smiled with delight and sit up to get a better look at his face.  
“Oh my goodness yay, it’s so much more beautiful in the daytime, Suzaku. Trust me!” God. Just the way she said his name gave him chills. He laughed quietly but happily, genuinely happily. He patted her hand and rose from the soft window seat, bowing before her.  
  
“If you don’t mind, Lady, I think I should escort you to bed now -- To.. to the bedroom! Your bedroom door!” he frantically tried to amend his fumbles, earning a giggle from Jade as she stood up from the seat herself. “Forgive me, I didn’t mean --”  
  
She silenced him with her hand on his shoulder. “Please, General Kururugi. Don’t be so wound up. It’s alright. We were getting pretty effortlessly comfortable just a few moments ago, so it’s safe to say I feel loose and easy around you. All I ask is that you try to do the same.”  
  
He nodded desperately, trying to salvage what skin tone he had left in his cheeks that wasn’t turning pink as she removed her hand and began to lead them both down the hall. Most of the walk back was fairly silent, not just because of the lingering awkwardness purely felt by Suzaku but mainly because he was now on duty, and focused on scanning his surroundings rather than making small talk.  
  
Finally, they reached the grand French doors that lead into Jade’s bedroom. He halted and opened the door for her, bowing beside it with unnecessary formality. “Good night, Lady Vi Britannia. Pleasant dreams await you, I pray.”  
  
She smiled and crossed over her door’s threshold, gently grasping the opposite side of the door handle Suzaku held and nodded her head at him. “Good night, Suzaku. Sweet dreams.”  
  
He bowed once more, “Yes.” He turned his back and began to make his hasty departure.  
  
“Suzaku!” Jade called quietly, but strongly.  
  
He turned just as quickly as he had turned away. “Yes, ma’am?”  
  
She paused. What were the right words to say? Was it wrong of her to feel so much so fast? Oh god what would he think if only he knew the things she thought of him...  
“Princess Jade?” he questioned, concern present in his strong voice.  
  
Her head snapped up. “Suzaku, I’m… I’m glad you’re here.”  
  
Suzaku stood up straight, clearly surprised by the way his mouth stayed ajar. What was he honestly supposed to say in return to a princess, a regal figure, when she says something so sweet, yet unprofessional to a person she really shouldn’t be giving more than the necessary time to? Could she possibly care for him as more than just a Knight?  
  
He settled on bowing, yet again, graciously and smiling. “Likewise, Ma'am. Good night.”  
  
Jade turned and settled into the confines of her private bedroom, shutting the door behind her as she heard the fading sounds of Suzaku’s footsteps growing more distant.


End file.
